I pretended to dismount my horse.“Oh Robin, you found me. Save me,” she pleaded. I ignored her at first. I was securing my horse in case he ran off. She wasn’t happy when I explained that. “Take this seriously,” she snarled, “or just forget it.” When I saw her tied up, I played my part like a true performer. Maid Marion stood there, bound to the tree. She was barefoot, wearing a blond wig and a hooded robe. It was open at the front. I stood speechless for a moment as I took in her beauty. Her. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"Margaret looked him over, "Nope."Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again. "You are not a git."I just smiled. "Keep thinking that," I whispered. Then I took a deep breath and started my tale."Back in high school I was a member of the marching band and the swim team. It was a strange combination, but it worked well. Marching was in the fall during football season, and then in the spring I was out at the pool doing the breaststroke and some freestyle for the team. I wasn't the only one with this strange double. Jack and Kevin were also doing both, although in different. Both Father Nicholas and Doctor Mercer advised me to tell you. I elected not to follow their advice for my own selfish reasons.”“Because you wanted to marry me?”“Yes.”“And that was selfish?”“Yes, because I didn’t view it from your perspective and didn’t consider how it would look to you.”“How does it look to me?”“That I deceived you and misrepresented myself, at least with regard to the degree of my indiscretions.”“Did you tell me in front of your mom so I wouldn’t be able to become angry?”“No..
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